Can I Just Share?

I really hate feeling inadequate.

Good Ol' Halloween

I gotta say, I'm really digging the Halloween spirit these days. Case in point:

Photo above and below show my experiment with make up for a fashion show Tootsie and I were invited to participate in as runway models. Yes, you saw it right. Runway models. (Hey, I've decided not to let opportunities pass anymore. If this not for me, then it's not. Charge it to experience!) 

 Photo below showcases secondary stage of the experiment. 

Photo below shows the final output of the eye make up. I'm kind of loving it, if I may say so myself. Might just consider making it my every-day makeup. lol :P

Ah, yes! I bought new contact lenses since its predecessor's left lens got lost among the blackhole in my stuff. (and they were my favorite, too! Never knew violet lens would look good with amber eyes) This time I bought a pair of lens that was similar to my eye's natural color because really what I'm only after lenses is the enlarging effect. Teehee. Well, a lot of people didn't notice that I was wearing contact lens, just the size. So they were mostly confused. Hahaha. I'm in love with these lens. <3 (They're WTA44 btw, aka Geo "Kira Kira" lens)

And here is TOOTSIE in her costume! Purty, right? That's my baby for you.

And below showcases my undying and ever-growing fascination for masks, especially Venetian half-masks. Bought these in Landmark for P100. The feathers were worn out, but it was the only black mask left, so I got it thinking I can just replace the feathers easily if they were to fall out anyway.

Though the only complaint I can make about the approaching Halloween is that channels on TV are filled with scary movies and commercials. I swear every channel you surf there's always something creepy on. And I'm the type of person who uses the TV as a sort of background noise while using the laptop. So when I hear scary commercials on a channel my heart just skips a beat on impulse. Seriously, I love a good horror story, but only when the sun's out. Sad to say I am a huge scaredy cat. So, good luck for me these coming days. Haha!

Let's all stay safe on Hallow's Eve. :)

Bippity Boppity Boo! (FINAL DAY)

I know it has been weeks after Bip's fifth and final day at our house, and I'm sorry for not posting about it sooner, but because I never fully wanted to disclose it till I was ready (that is, until I can write about it and remember it w/o crying or being sad), I decided not to write about it until now.


Sadly, due to certain circumstances, our family cannot adopt Bip permanently.

So, on October 14 2011, Bip and I spent our last day together.

Bip, Tootsie, and I spent the entire day together playing and having fun (well, THEY would play. The human just stands by and laughs and sometimes plays along). I really couldn't do much to separate those two once they've started the playing. I had to supervise at all times though because, as stated in my previous entry, Bip has surprisingly sharp teeth and can puncture Tootsie's big eyes. Fortunately, it didn't happen.

Come night time, Bip and I decided to sleep in my room; just the two of us. I wanted to monopolize Bip's presence and sweetness for as much as I can with the little time I had left. After all, she was going to go back to her foster parent and there is a good chance I may never see her again (except on photo updates). It actually made me cry because Bip has left such a dent on my life for the past 4 days that she stayed with us. I can't explain what exactly it is -- maybe it's her loud personality or her inspiring zest of energy and sense of normality despite her physical lackings. Whatever it is, I can't really put my finger on it. But the thought of not having to see Bip curl her ears in happiness or her wet-nosed kisses or her voracious appetite or her high-pitched bark -- it was enough to break my heart ten times over.

Some of you may be wondering why I've invested such emotional attachment to a dog I have been with for only four days, and some of you may be thinking I am overreacting over a "mere" dog. Even if I tell you, you will never understand until you've felt it for yourself.

Bip has such an energy and sweetness about her that it's impossible not to open your heart to her and let her in forever, if not your home; she has this way of creeping inside your heart and staying there permanently -- this small creature who has suffered from different ailments such as ehrlichia (a tick-based disease) which affected her RBC, which made her anemic and in turn affected her appetite. From what I have known, she has had owner before. If she was neglected this much physically, I think she has been neglected emotionally as well. That may be one of the causes of her being territorial of certain people and her insecurity towards other dogs (masked entirely in loud barks) and being left alone.  And despite her obvious physical difference from other 'normal' dogs, as far as she's concerned, she's normal -- she can fend for herself, defend herself from other dogs (even bigger ones). But once you leave her, she weeps and whimpers like a lost child, proof of how she needs close emotional ties with her human. She's just like a normal human child. Truly, you would give your heart to her almost in a trance. At first she annoys the heck out of you, but before you know it your heart is completely won over by this little one.

The morning of the day to return Bip. Curling her ears because I am FINALLY awake and so we can play . lol

The morning of the day I was going to return Bip, she greeted me with her earls curled when she sensed I was stirring and opened my eyes and cooed at her; it was one of the very few mornings I had this conflicting emotion of happiness and so much sadness.

As we got in the car, she was quiet albeit affectionate. She ate only 1/3 of her food, which was unusual for her. I'd like to think she 'sensed' what was about to happen. When the building of her original foster parent was on sight, she curled her ears and whimpered! I was sad -- too sad -- but I was delighted she knew and never forgot her home and the kind human who took her in and did all she could to restore her back to health and genuinely loved her as I have. The moment I handed Bip over to her, the curled ears appeared and gave her foster parent so many kisses. I was a tiny bit jealous, but I was happy. At least I know Bip is in good hands.

With a heavy heart, I went out of the building's lobby and into the car. I was thankful I had my sunglasses with me. I couldn't have hidden my eyes brimming with tears from the driver. The last scene I saw was Bip happily together with her original foster parent again.

You might think me bad, but for the first two days, when I would give Tootsie kisses, I'd impulsively think of Bip. When I scold Tootsie, 'Bip' is the name that came out of my mouth. Truly, I felt like a cheating lover in a way. Hours, days, weeks passed. My loneliness over Bip's departure slowly drained out of my system, but from time to time, I would find myself wondering about Bip.

Here is a video of all the videos I managed to take of Bip during her brief but important stay with me. This won't explain what I felt towards her (not even this lengthy blog post), but I hope it can convey the happiness I managed to achieve through and with Bip. She will always, always have a place in my heart. Always.

I hope you find the loving, permanent home you deserve, Bip. I wish you nothing but the best in your journey. I love you..

Bip and Tootsie's Playtime

Here is a video of their play-fight. So sorry for the poor quality, I grabbed what I could to capture this glorious moment and it just so happens that the one I grabbed was my phone. lol

Well, here they are. Bip and Tootsie playing and Tootsie's semi-Pinball Mode. :]

Bippity Boppity Boo! (Day Four)

Day Four's start was not so good.

Sorry for the blurred pictue ^_^;

Bip peed twice inside the room, and pooped once. And bit my dad on his foot as he was walking inside the room which incurred a bit of wrath from him since he was still tired form his travel and was not feeling too well. We were sent out of his room with airconditioner and tv.

The day did get better, though. Bip and Tootsie played with each other at last!

We were in the living room, banished from his highness's throne room, when it happened. Maybe because Bip has been in the room for most of the time and she hasn't explored that part of the house yet so she wasn't very territorial with it. Tootsie found her voice at last and was suddenly barking at Bip out of nowhere. It was Bip's turn to cower and she was looking at me for protection. You should have seen the look she gave me, she really wanted me to carry her. It took all my will power not to carry her in my arms and murmur words of endearment to her. But I didn't surrender to those eyes, and probably for the first time she found herself utterly powerless in Tootsie's big, loud barks. It ceased after a while with Tootsie actually whimpering afterwards. Probably she was just looking for a playmate? Then afterwards it was Bip's turn to bark. After a couple of minutes it stopped, and after a few minutes also of silence, Tootsie barked again. Needless to say I was a bit confused at this point. In the end, I ignored them both with a befuddled sigh and went back to my reading, hoping that they were just 'talking' to each other. Seemed like a good idea to leave them to their own devices because, before I knew it, they were eagerly chasing each other around the house. It was a sight to see, really.

*gasp* is this the start of something new?

After that, things went back to Tootsie avoiding Bip, but that little playtime of theirs gave me hope. So, my fingers are still cramped from finger-crossing.

Around 3.30 pm Tootsie deemed it wise to come close to Bip and sniff the heck out of her while she was eating. Not a very good idea. She ended up fending Tootsie off and guarding her beloved food. But, thankful, Tootsie went into her *Pinball mode that earned them another playtime. Wiiiii! But alas, I had to end it lest Tootsie come close to becoming blind again. Bip was nipping at Tootsie playfully, but she was doing it in her chest and in her cheeks -- dangerously close to Tootsie's right eye. And as I've noticed Bip's exceptionally sharp teeth, I decided it wasn't worth the danger (because Tootsie really will go blind if the same spot becomes target of a sharp object again). Sadly, I had to stop their little rough play. But it was amusing to see that Tootsie didn't use her forelegs at all during their play-fight. Usually, when we play, Tootsie uses her 'hands' to grab hold of the toy or our hands (depending on what we're using). It was actually Bip who was using her 'chicken wing' when she gets frustrated and can't reach Tootsie. I was secretly proud of my little Tootsie for that. I can see she's going to be a good mother someday (if that play-fight was any indication).

I will update this blog later on in the evening, as Day Four comes to a close. I just wanted to share this little bud of hope. Hoorah!

*Pinball mode - when Tootsie becomes so energized she runs around in circles in the house in lightning speed for several rounds

Bippity Boppity Boo! (Day Three)

Sorry I haven't updated last night, was too absorbed in my new book to post a blog or even to update my facebook account or anything. *squeals in excitement of my new book!*

Anyway, on to Bip's third day at home.

First off, the night before, she finally used the doggy bed!! She still prefers the carpet and pillow, though. 

Totally lol-ed at this one. Yes, she is dead asleep here. This little  one brings out so much giggle in me these past few days.

Second, it was the day dad came home from his three-day trip to Singapore, and since Bip is wary 'strangers' and feels as if she's this big guard dog and my dad is going to be the whole judge whether Bip is going to stay or not, I decided to take caution in their meeting. 

Their initial meeting was good. I brought him to the back door where dad entered, and no squabble. Dad patted her on the head and Bip didn't growl. So far, so good. 

Come sleeping time, since Bip sleeps on the ground and Tootsie sleeps at the bed with me, there was the usual yapping. But it lasted for a few seconds only -- good to know Bip is acknowledging a bit of discipline as time goes on. After a while, as the two babies slept, I look at Bip sleeping on the floor and since it is still possible that the family may not want to adopt her permanently, I felt such a pang of hurt at this possible loss. Bip has integrated herself to my heart like Tiny (the half-Rottie I fostered temporarily for CARA) that imagining her not with me is painful enough. So I decided to create a little makeshift bed for us in the carpet. 

Bip sleeping like an angel on the little bed I prepared 

And Tootsie sleeping like a, well, like a drunkard on our bed clutching at the remote. lol

We slept like that for the whole night and yes, I had cramps all over my body the next morning. lol. And that pretty much concludes Day three. 

Bippity Boppity Boo! (Day Two)

Super Bip's second day at home!

This is the second closest they ever got

Okay, so the night before ended in yapping, and the morning started out with yapping. Why? Let me tell you.

Because Bip has such a dominant personality and our dog, Tootsie, is proving to be surprisingly submissive to this tiny barking machine (whilst barking fiercely toward other bigger dogs), I decided to have Bip be taught some discipline slowly throughout this trial adoption. So we officially started at night. I let Tootsie sleep on my bed, while I provided Bip with a dog bed, a big bone-shaped pillow, and old newspaper with a few drops of Beaphar's puppy toilet trainer (I let her sniff it before so she knows where to do her business).

Aaaand the barking began. That was around, I think, 1 am in the morning when we decided to hit the sack. They were sleeping peacefully while I was busy with my laptop (see photo above). So when we went to the room, Tootsie was at the bed, while the dog bed and everything else (toys and all) were at Bip's disposal. But she would not have it. She wanted to go to the bed as well -- immediately. But I wanted her to know that Tootsie is older and that Bip needs to know when to become submissive. So, no matter how much she barked, I never gave in -- not even to the heart-breaking whines she sometimes emitted. After around 5 minutes of constant yapping (with brief intervals in between), she stopped and sleep gave way at last.

Around 7 in the morning the barking started again, demanding to be allowed on the bed. It became louder and more consistent -- probably because she had ample energy after that sleep. But I was still too sleepy to pay heed, and she needs to know that barking will not get her what she wants, so her yapping was subsequently ignored. It lasted a good 10-15 minutes non-stop. Surprisingly, it elicited two low growls from Tootsie. I was secretly hoping that Tootsie would bark at last to show Bip that she wasn't going to take it lying down anymore, but she didn't. I should be glad she didn't, otherwise it may have provoked a dog fight from these two fluff balls who think they're bigger than they really are.

The morning after

When I woke up around 10 am, Bip woke up as well when she heard me and greeted me with her tail wagging. I picked her up and cuddled with her for being quiet and affectionate despite the little discipline lesson she had. She had used the newspaper with the Beaphar puppy-trainer, so that earned her rewards of affection, too. Not sure if it was the liquid that worked or if she was trained by her foster to wee on the newspaper (will ask later), but she did poop on the edge of the carpet. Yikes. Will have to work on that.

After that, she ate three hearty meals the whole day. I gave her dry kibble with just enough Century Tuna to coat everything because she doesn't really like dry kibble and we just ran out of wet dog food (another item to add to my growing shopping list. Daddy, come back soon please!). Bip had learned how to climb three flights of stairs and earned much love and applaud for being such a fearless pup! She couldn't go down though, so I helped her. Maybe when she gets bigger she'll eventually learn how to. This smart spitfire has enough spirit and brains to do it.

Now I just have to figure out how to get Bip and Tootsie become close.

Bippity Boppity Boo! (Day One)

Will everyone please welcome the newest addition to our family?

*drumroll*

Tadaaaaa!!! Ain't she the cutest? Her name's Bip, short for 'Bipod'  because of, well, as you can see from the photos, she has no front legs. She's staying with me for a 5-day trial adoption to see if we can handle her special needs and her, ahem, 'strong' personality. Now before you go "awwww" with pity over this cutie, think again. 

Behind that sweet, angelic face and tiny body lies a daredevil and, well, a devil. Ha ha. She is a feisty critter and will bark at other dogs no matter the size! In her foster home before, her foster mom had another foster dog bigger and older than her, albeit very very submissive. The moment she stepped into the threshold, she immediately owned the place, going first to the resident dog's toys. The older dog sniffed her, and she returned a growl in return. Frico (the older dog) has been cowering in fear of her ever since.

Now she is in my care for five days to see if our family, house, and overall environment are compatible with Bip's personality and needs. As mentioned before, she has quite a bit of a personality. As far as she's concerned, she's normal. (In fact, I think she thinks of herself as MORE than normal -- she's awesome.) Well, I actually just got her a while ago from her foster parent. I brought our dog, Tootsie (a  Mal-shi) to the place so they can meet in neutral grounds. Bip was actually shy and very reluctant at the lobby of the condo. I let her sniff Tootsie's derriere and vice versa. Then after a bit, we were off. 

Newly carpeted floor in the room

She didn't exactly own the house like she did with her first foster. She sniffed her way around her home for the next five days. She had quite a bit of a hard time moving about because she either uses her snout and her 'chicken wing' to hobble about or just hops in her two hind legs (she prefers the former because it's easier for her. Not recommended though 'cause she can damage those in the future) and she had a hard time doing so in our linoleum floors. So I put a carpet on the room where she frequently is. Whilst Tootsie has sniffed every last bit of scent off of Bip in the car ride home, she avoided Bip as much as possible when we got home. No growling, so I thought we were off to a good, quiet start.

It was minutes after when the growling began. She was near me, laying down, when Tootsie was in near proximity. She growled at her out of nowhere! I told her off with a firm "NO" and she stopped. A second growl happened when Tootsie tried to come near again after an interval of about an hour. Come evening, I gave her Tootsie's ball to chew on and play with so she'd have a bit more fun. I think it only brought out the aggressive side in her for some reason. Our maid suddenly came up to her in a loud voice and she growled and barked at her. When Tootsie tried to get near the ball she originally owned, the growling and barking became nonstop. I tried to tell her off with a firm No and everything I saw on 'Dog Whisperer' (lol, yes, I watch that). But it didn't stop 'till she couldn't see Tootsie anymore. :(

Every now and then she barks out of nowhere, maybe out of frustration for something or somewhere she can't reach as that happens a bit. But all in all, it was a pretty good day. She's not all negative. She is super sweet and loves cuddling and EATING (one trait we both share. And the constant yapping when frustrated). Well, can't complain. At least she's no pushover. We'll see in the next few days if we can handle that big personality. Hoping everything works out!

And that is it for Day One! :D

Letters to Juliet

A while ago I was watching Letters to Juliet, a movie about finding true love. It was a pretty feel-good movie; overall it was mighty entertaining to watch.

But really, what struck me the most about the movie was the line "...if what you felt then was love; true love -- then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now?"

True. When you brand it true, then it is and will forever be truthful. True gold, true diamond – there is a reason these objects have the ‘word’ true in them. They last forever.


In conjunction with that, a quote from one of the most brilliant professors I have ever had the pleasure of encountering in my Teaching of Literature class came to mind. She told us that there is beauty in truth. So, in truth, you can find beauty as well. Which begs the question: why does everyone want to find aesthetic salvation in beauty creams and mystical creatures with fangs from story books when you can achieve all the beauty in the world in yourself; in your own words, and in your actions? If you want to be beautiful forever, be true – true to your heart, true to yourself, and true to the people around you. Be truthful in the things you say; the information you disseminate, and the counsel you share. (And no, no one's really trying to press everyone to be honest and keep spewing the almost-always hurtful truth all the time. But really, saying something -- the truth, a lie, a fiction -- to someone has a lot of responsibility involved) What is true today will still be true in a thousand days. If truth is beautiful, and truth is immortal, have we not found the fountain of youth?

Being truthful may not be the way to flawless skin, but it is a remarkable way to a healthy character. And, as the saying goes, “Character is more important, because it is who you are – reputation is only what people think you are”. And certainly it may not be the easiest method, but that makes it all the more worth it, doesn't it? Again, not pressing any issues here. (I doubt if anyone in this planet says the truth all the time owing much thanks to social ethics and a thick hide) Just some thought to mull over.

And you thought I was going to talk about love.